Adrenaline Junkie

I would describe myself as an adrenaline junkie. At 13 I entertained motorcycle fantasies sitting in traffic in San Francisco on my way home from work. I imagined myself zipping through traffic drawing the ire and jealousy of Commuter McEverymen in their cars. I took crazy bike rides down steep hills, through rain and hail.

I wonder if adrenaline junkies can get a fix from epipens. Three years after initially developing my deadly shellfish allergy, I finally went to the doctor to get an epipen. I used to be fine with eating food fried in the same oil as shellfish, but that all changed a couple weeks ago. The reaction is nowhere near as severe as if I ate shellfish (anaphylactic shock--I will puke everywhere first and then start swelling up) but it came on fast. Telltale nausea, itchy throat... all that good stuff.

Nothing is more terrifying than feeling your blood pressure drop. It's like riding an elevator too fast and you can tell what's coming.

I have two epipens and a training pen which has no needle or epinephrine. I was trying to use the training one and kept wimping out when it came to step 2, "Swing and push firmly into thigh."

Swing? Excuse me? I swing a baseball bat and I can swing a mean punch, but I am not swinging an autoinjector needle into my poor baby thigh.

After a few tries rife with wimping out I finally did it. And boy, you have to hit it hard. Here's to hoping I don't need it.