The Word

I've been home for a week and already a lot has happened. I applied to Trader Joe's, applied for a fit model position at Charlotte Russe (got turned down--too skinny and too chesty... they want people who are more or less within the exact measurements), and my parents are getting divorced.

...what.

One of these things is not like the other. Yeah. It would have been 27 years this year, but people change. I can't say it wasn't unexpected. A lot happened in a year when they first started having problems. It makes a lot of things clearer. And in a way it's good to have confirmation. Yes, it's tough, but it's for the better. Both of them went to therapy but neither went far enough to compromise. Yesterday morning it hit me. All the pictures of us as a family up on the walls. It seems like a betrayal to me. So I had my angry moments. I threw some patio furniture around. I beat up on some old wood outside. I screamed so hard I puked up breakfast. And then I felt better.

Last night was the first night I've left the house since I got home. All I'd been doing was cleaning the house, cleaning up my shit, and cleaning up more shit. I knew I needed some time to be hedonistic and selfish so I packed it up and went to hang with G.

Escape is good. It's not like there's World War III at my house but I'm sick of being in my box empire.